Frank Daniel, the former chair of the Film Division at Columbia University and past dean of the School of Cinema-Television at USC said,

"A Story starts with character."

Most successful authors perform a two-step process when creating their main character. The first is to gain an awareness of the inner workings of the character and secondly to determine how the character will evolve. The author gains awareness by taking on the heart, mind, and soul of the character. It is with a deep understanding of the character's beliefs and values that the author is able to determine how the character will express themselves, behave, think, and feel. The evolution of the character is defined by a concept called Character Arc. It is the belief that characters must
evolve, grow, learn, or change as the plot unfolds. Most readers expect that at the end of the book, the main character will be in a higher position than at the beginning. 

This is much like life. Our natural inclination is to do our best to reach our highest potentials. Similarly to how a good author will spend significant time in character development to achieve the goals of their story, healthy adults have the opportunity to reflect and determine how they want to develop and transform to achieve their goals. 

Recall the choices and personal transformations characters such as Rocky Balboa (Rocky Series), Sarah Conner (Terminator Series) and Neo (The Matrix) undergo in their roles. Once you have acknowledged the choice and made the decision to own your story, to be the author of your life, you are living your Character Arc. Your personal transformation begins with becoming intimate with the main character in your story, your SELF. Your SELF is made up of your values, beliefs, and your understanding of those. Some questions to ask to elicit these values and beliefs about your SELF are: What are the important areas of my life? What do I value about them? What are my beliefs? Could I make those beliefs more empowering?

Maslow, the father of self-actualization, called this inner exploration, our “search for meaning”. This is one of the first steps towards any type of personal development. It is about looking within, listening to your inner voice, and becoming aware of the quality of the values and beliefs you have created for your SELF. Knowing what is going on inside you builds the foundation for self-value, self-esteem, self-confidence, ego-strength to face the world, adult responsibility, independence and many other positive traits and qualities of developing and maturing. Without this ability you end up dependent, needy, insecure, unable to cope, etc. You are in an unresourceful state and one in which we are “lost” about what to think, what to do, how to be, etc.

Once you begin becoming aware and choose an area of focus, where you would like to make a shift, you can begin the second step of developing your unique Character Arc. The process of defining how you want to evolve, grow, learn or change to create the best main character you can be. 

If it’s all about the character, and you’re living to your full potential...it’s a Best Seller.

Points to ponder (or comment on below):

• Do you own your story? 
• Are there interferences in the way of writing the story you want to live? 
• What else does your character need? 
• Do you take time to reflect, meditate, contemplate on the story you are creating? 
• Who’s your favorite character from a book or movie that unleashed their potential?

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Great! So how do you start, where do you begin? How can YOU create life experiences that will generate more of this feeling for YOU?

Happiness is a feeling that is generated from experiences and the meaning that you associate to those experiences.  

If you want to experience more happiness, focus on the experiences that make you happy and consider what it is about them (the meaning of these experiences) that makes you happy.  Emotions and feelings are results, effects and consequences of an experience, not the experience itself.  When you are able to define the positive experience you want to achieve, the desired emotions will inevitably follow.

THE EXPERIENCE

What experiences can you create for yourself that will result in the desired feeling?  Defining this experience will be evidence-based; information that informs you that you have achieved your goal.

• What do you want?  Why do you want that?
• Where do you want this?
• When do you want this?  When do you expect to achieve this?
• With whom?  Who is involved?
• Do you know how to do this?  Can you do this?  Can you start it and sustain it until the end?
• Do you know the actions to take?
• Do you have a plan for the steps and stages of the goal?
• Do you have milestones and a way to gather feedback to monitor your progress?
• Do you have the internal and external resources?
• Is it compelling?  Do you really, really want this?  Have you built up enough meaning, your highest intentions to be able to focus?
• Is it ecological?  Does it fit into all the areas and systems of your life?  Are all parts of you aligned with this?
• How will you know you have achieved your goal?  What evidence will indicate to you to stop?

The criteria are things that you can see, hear, and feel has taken place.  You will be able to know you have reached your goal when this external, actual and sensory-based evidence of the goal have been achieved.  In other words, define “how you will know you achieved the desired feeling”.  It will be because you can see, hear, and feel a certain set of criteria. 

THE MEANING

How we achieve a desired feeling changes over time.  In general, if you ask a child to young adult about what creates happiness for them, they will respond with activities that are exciting or adventurous.  If you ask an older adult, they are more apt to reply with activities that are peaceful, provide time for reflection, or where they have a sense of control.  Notice the activities you are currently engaged in and perform a check.  Ensure the experiences you are creating are as meaningful as you desire.  Are they aligned with your standards, values, preferences and needs?

To apply in a business context, a manager is asked to increase employee morale. How is that performed?  We would follow the same guidelines as above, reviewing the Experiences and the Meaning, addressing the factors that influence morale.  Valuable feedback can be received when you ask “what causes your morale to be high/low?”.  It is the answer to this question where you can begin the exploration of defining the performance measures and meaningful commitment to the organization that will increase an employee’s morale.  

If you ask an employee “how is your morale?”, the employee will pause to consider how they feel.  The feedback from this question deals with the emotion, not the experiences and meanings that would result in high morale. 

Do you have a feeling you would like to experience more?  What is the one step you can take today to create that experience and meaning for you? 
 
Share your comments below :)

Life happens. We can be on our path, experiencing joy, overcoming obstacles, committed to our purpose, when all of a sudden, BANG!...we encounter an event, a situation... That "situation" is a life event that has the possibility to derail us if we let it. Would it be useful to have a quick technique that enabled you to turn what may at first seem like a negative situation into an opportunity to feel a burst of motivation? How valuable to switch your attitude to “let’s do this”. Many of you practice this method already, others want to know more…whether you want to know more for you or for those that walk along side you on this journey of life…I’ll share a story of how framing altered reality and created enhancing meanings for my daughter, Ella.

Discovering an Enhancing Frame

It all starts with Ella and Ben, my husband, watching the Olympics - almost every minute of the gymnastics events. During this time I was in Colorado becoming certified to Train Neuro-Semantics and missed out on how Ella pranced around the room on tip toes, hands in the air and practicing cart wheels on the lawn.

When I returned to town, she ran up to me and jumped high in the air landing right in front of me. She then raised her hands in the air and bowed her back just like the gymnasts on TV. She smailed at me and said, "Did you see me stick the landing mama? I really nailed it!"

Use the New Frame!

Fast forward two days ago when Ben was pushing Ella on a swing. Yikes, it's nauseating for me to watch as he pushes her harder and harder as she yells "higher Daddy, higher". After a really hard push, Ella lost control. Her legs fly up, her hands come loose and then her body flies out of the seat…she flips over backwards and lands hard on her knees. (Yes, one of those times when it’s in slow motion and I have mapped out the quickest route to the hospital.) She was scared, hurt, about to cry. Ben runs to her, yanks her up, kisses both cheeks like a Russian gymnast and says, "Incredible dismount Ella!!!, but I'm going to have to deduct point 5 for the landing. It may still be enough for the gold medal."

For a second, she stares at him like he’s crazy. Then glows like a lightbulb and says, "no daddy, 2 tenths, cause I didn’t step back." In that brief moment, Ben had reframed the situation for Ella. She went from a hurt, scared little girl, into a gold-medal winning Olympic gymnast.

Wow! The power of reframing; it works for little girls and for us. Just like Ella playing the video of an Olympic gymnast in her mind, we have the ability to alter the reality of our experiences by changing the meaning.

Many people who already use this technique when encountering a problem, ask the question, “What is this like?” When we stop thinking about the problem, and start thinking about something else in a relaxed state of mind, often an idea pops into our consciousness that we can relate to the problem. As a Neuro-Semanticist, this relates to the principal: “If there’s a problem, the frame is the problem not the person. The person is never the problem; the frame is always the problem.” Reframe the problem, to get back up and do it again.  Create empowering meanings that benefit you and stay on track. I encourage you to reframe life events to be an Olympic gold medalist as often as possible!